Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
do herpes really smell.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
