WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
