better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
