she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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