I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
