Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
