she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
