Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
