There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
