I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
