And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
someone owes me an orgasm
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
This is classic penis vs brain.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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