my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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