if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
