I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He kissed a someone with a penis
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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