never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
