Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
