Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
