the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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