what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
