You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
only if we run a train.
done.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
