I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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