I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
