God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
