How'd it feel making her break her religion?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i will never coherently bang her
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
