She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
