Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
