Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
