Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
