he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We had sex on a dog bed..
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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