If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
