Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
