Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
