Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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