I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
oh god the rape fog is back!
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
