Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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