Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
