Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
not ubering you a puppy
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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