And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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