i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
