When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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