The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
