You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
