How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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