I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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