So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
