it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
