she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
