please come you make the beer taste better
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
