If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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