Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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